Re: Laidler gone according to HUN
Reply #13 –
Genuinely shocked, and disappointed at what I just read.
There is a plethora of anecdotal evidence to support both arguments - to spank or not to spank. This issue is far greater and way more important than anecdotal stories.
But if you want anecdotal, then I will meet your anecdotal and raise you an anecdotal… I have 2 daughters who were never spanked, which to me, if I had, would have been physical abuse. Today, they are both terrific 'citizens'. They were both set strong and clear boundaries... enforced by voice, example and non-negotiable rewards and punishments (never physical. Boundaries is the key).
A child’s body (indeed, all people), is sacrosanct.
Too many of us are the parents that our parents were. Well, not here. My sister, brother and I were disciplined in the good old Catholic way... spare the rod and spoil the child. Watching my sister, deeply distressed, at age 14, whilst my father 'spanked' her was traumatic. She learned nothing from his 'hiding'... other than shame. Yes, I know, anecdotal… but I know what his hidings did to my sister (and me).
For any human being to believe that striking another person is good for them; will help them, is obscene and ridiculous. The only thing violence teaches is that violence will get you what you want by force... and that lesson is all around us and contributes significantly to so many social issues.
Please do not confuse my comments with some flowery 60s or Swedish understanding that kids should be regarded as adult and given no discipline and just allowed to develop and grow on their own – rubbish. Boundaries are the key, but how you enforce these boundaries says more about you than your kids – if you need to resort to violence (hitting) to get obedience, then you have failed. You are the adult. You have the big brain. Use it.
Baggers, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but calling someone else's opinion "obscene and ridiculous" simply because it does not line up with your own opinion is IMO not playing the ball or fair to other people sharing their thoughts and opinions about this topic.
Yes I believe that there is far too much physical abuse(disguised as discipline) between parents and children. How ever, I personally was physically, but lovingly disciplined as a kid, and I never had a problem with how or why said discipline was meted out! And when done correctly I believe corporal punishment is a very effective method of discipline.