Carlton Supporters Club

THE Carlton Football Club says it’s confident it will have no players by season 2018 as its ‘Player Zero’ strategy picks up pace.

“We’re working really hard to ensure we have no players by 2018 and this trade period shows we’re well on track,” said Carlton CEO Steven Trigg.

“Players are expensive, troublesome and require constant feeding. Draft picks are much easier to manage.

“Having zero players also cuts down on our carbon emissions and everyone knows how much we care about the environment at the Blues.”

Mr Trigg said Carlton were confident of still being able to keep up their on field performances with no players.
“Really, who would notice? You can finish 18th with or without players to be honest.”

It’s believed that there are elements within Carlton who are less than happy with the ‘Player Zero Strategy’.

“I may be old fashioned in my thinking but I think players are kind of essential to a football team,” said new Carlton coach Brendon Bolton.

“At Hawthorn we had lots of players and a lot of them were also really good at football.

“That was sort of the model I was hoping to replicate here but now it seems unlikely.”

Mr Trigg said the first stage of the ‘Player Zero’ strategy had been to trade away every good player.

“That’s coming to an end now but I want to acknowledge the work of my predecessors.”

“There’s just a few to go. I’m just about to ring around to see if anyone wants Patrick Cripps for a third-round pick.”

When asked if Carlton members and fans should be upset with the trading away of good players, Mr Trigg said they were ‘not a key stakeholder in the process’.

Other clubs have applauded Carlton’s approach. “Every time they ring it’s like Christmas,” said Adelaide CEO Andrew Fagan.