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Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #90
............... Anyway - enough said!

Incredibly impressed, Biscuit 2. Wow, Mate that is really insightful IMHO.

............ Quality post, Biscuit 2... serious quality. :)

I agree, top post C2 !!!
Mens sana in corpore sano - A healthy mind in a healthy body.

Navy, it's not just a color, it's an attitude !!!

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #91
Well to be quite honest with you, it wasn't just me who'd cop a good hiding...all the blokes I used to knock around with growing up did too. 
 
Could it be an environmental factor of where you live? Do those from affluent suburbs not grow up with such 'disciplinary' measures because their parents are more relaxed...maybe through less financial strain as opposed to those from real blue collar, industrial, working class areas where financial strain may have cancerous repercussions? 
 
 

I'd say alcohol consumption and the culture that goes with it would be a far greater contributing factor in domestic violence than where one may live or how much money they may make.

Alcohol I'm sure would be a major contributor to domestic violence and there's plenty of evidence to support that in this country alone.

I grew up in a small coal-mining community where heavy drinking was virtually everybody's major hobby and fisticuffs was the way to settle most disputes. A pretty brutal place to grow up, more psychologically than physically I guess. I still have problems dealing with people I feel are "soft" and I'd say a certain insensitivity would be a flaw I'd admit to. I knew though that I had to get out of there and I can honestly say it was the best favour I did for myself at a young age. Took a while to shake off some off the baggage though - first step is to become aware of what exactly it is you're carrying - you need good friends to tell you that. Anyway - enough said!


Cookie...You form a mental picture of posters and their backgrounds etc ...but  I always get it wrong :o...Being such a sensible forgiving well adjusted poster I had you from the middle class suburbs with a scar free upbringing and now you are telling me you you lived in a mining town version of the bronx?

re: Gozza...unemployed alcoholic is a bit of a rough description IMO and I wouldnt want to judge anyone on just an internet profile without knowing their whole story...I dont expect Gozza to open up with his personal life on this forum but he seems an intelligent young bloke(and thats not pissing in his pocket) who should be doing more with his life and at this stage needs some encouragement to change his ways.
I'd urge him to set some limits on his drinking and maybe look at some career training in a field he might enjoy...thats not preaching either,  but having one of my children go off the rails for a year or two just some advice from someone who initially made the mistake of concentrating on a daughters negatives without working on the positives...

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #92
@EB1
You probably got it right in terms of my present comfortable middle class life, but as I said, my earlier years were certainly in a very different place. Not quite the Bronx but certainly no place for softies.

As for Gozz, he's an interesting character and I detect intelligence and some education coming through at times from from his writings. Hopefully his actual drinking exploits don't live up to his reports!  :o
Reality always wins in the end.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #93
Definitely not enough love for Gozza in this thread.  :'( ;D
 
Just read this on wiki -
 
Quote
A 2002 public opinion survey suggested the majority view was in support of retaining parents' right to smack with the open hand but not with an implement,[18] although as of 2010, there are no laws against using an implement in any state or territory. In New South Wales, S61AA of the Crimes Act (1900) allows a parent a defense of lawful correction.[19]

 
So parents can use a hand but not anything else to belt with. I used to cop the belt, and one christmas day when I was a kid, I even copped a metal table leg off the old man after he'd had too much to drink. Not sure what it was I did, but I got chased around the backyard with it too ;D Put all the money I had towards the bistro setting the old man got off me for christmas, and I ended up wearing it. It went out in hard garbage about a week or so later.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #94
Definitely not enough love for Gozza in this thread.  :'( ;D
 
Just read this on wiki -
 
Quote
A 2002 public opinion survey suggested the majority view was in support of retaining parents' right to smack with the open hand but not with an implement,[18] although as of 2010, there are no laws against using an implement in any state or territory. In New South Wales, S61AA of the Crimes Act (1900) allows a parent a defense of lawful correction.[19]

 
So parents can use a hand but not anything else to belt with. I used to cop the belt, and one christmas day when I was a kid, I even copped a metal table leg off the old man after he'd had too much to drink. Not sure what it was I did, but I got chased around the backyard with it too ;D Put all the money I had towards the bistro setting the old man got off me for christmas, and I ended up wearing it. It went out in hard garbage about a week or so later.

GozzMan, that is a horror story. However, I can empathise as I was also beaten with 'implements'. One was a small branch off a tree! But his work boots to the guts and head were the most common, along with the fist.

However, I agree entirely with what EB1 wrote. You do come across as having some real grey matter between your lugholes. And like EB1 I don't want to lecture or rescue, but I can tell you that most addictions are very often a means of avoiding hurt/pain.

You mentioned that you don't know what you did for your old man to go you with the leg off the table... that comment implies that you believe you deserved it. No child 'deserves' that kind of abuse. And that was real McCoy abuse. :)
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #95
bloody hell..... I just copped a smack or a wooden spoon.

My aunty would threaten me with the a wooden spaghetti server.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #96
Once when I was 8, I got a whole McDonalds meal violently crushed into my face and a couple of good belts across the face/head in the restaurant off the old man who'd been on the piss all day.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #97
Once when I was 8, I got a whole McDonalds meal violently crushed into my face and a couple of good belts across the face/head in the restaurant off the old man who'd been on the piss all day.

Not so happy meal

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #98
Once when I was 8, I got a whole McDonalds meal violently crushed into my face and a couple of good belts across the face/head in the restaurant off the old man who'd been on the piss all day.

Not so happy meal

Humiliation meal more like it.  ;D Was so embarrassed as tears rolled down my McDonalds covered face in front of everyone. And from memory I went to bed hungry that night too.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #99
Mate, I reckon many folks will read your posts re childhood violence and be shocked and then understand why you do some of the things you do. And unless folks have been through the kind of family violence you talk about (as I, also, have), it would be impossible to really know how humiliating and crushing it is.

And, GozzMan, self medicating with alcohol aint the solution - just numbs the feelings and brings on an early demise.

As an aside and paradoxically, I know there are so many beliefs out there that 'abused' kids become 'abusive' adults. Wrong. I recall how much I hated being beaten and humiliated in public and in front of friends (yep, the old man would 'go to town' on me in front of my male friends and try to root my female friends) and knew from the age of about 12 that there was no way I would treat another human being like this. Glad to say my daughters got loads of encouragement and support... no humiliation, no abuse, no beatings.

What kind of parent do you think you'd be, Cocko? Might be just the thing to get you off the turps!!! :)
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

 

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #101
People wonder how to handle the parenting gig when they have kids of their own. Imagine parenting your own parent who is sick with heart disease at home, and won't do as they are told or do what is good for them. Refusing to eat. Smoking like a chimney, and just making life difficult for themselves. If there is a book out there on how to do it, send it my way. I thought 5 year olds, and teenagers were hard work. 77 year olds can be even worse.
This digital world is too much for us insects to understand.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #102
Once when I was 8, I got a whole McDonalds meal violently crushed into my face and a couple of good belts across the face/head in the restaurant off the old man who'd been on the piss all day.

Gozz...Sorry to hear you had an abusive father and without wishing to intrude on your private life I presume he was equally abusive to other members of your family?
Baggers is asking the same questions I would ask so I wont repeat them.....I dont know Baggers but I can tell he has a genuine interest in your well being and we both hope you can ease off the piss
and deal with what seems to be a rough childhood.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #103
Elwood my past life wasn't any better. If I could remember the number of broken bones it would be a miracle. However mine wasn't always by the parent being intoxicated or under the influence. My step father hated me with a passion and could issue a beating completely sober, and just because I was standing where he didn't prefer me to be. I too offer any support or just to listen to a venting session by any. Gozz has many here willing to listen or offer support. Don't be ashamed by your past life. Just choose to be different for the benefit of the next generation. ;)
This digital world is too much for us insects to understand.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #104
Mantis and Gozz post two graphic realities of their childhood existence that defy belief yet are entirely accurate. It truly breaks my heart to read these stories of people who I only know through a footy forum yet I know enough to see them as great people. Gozza mate, as mants says we are all here for you mate and you can change your circumstance for the better if you want.
IN WADA WE TRUST