Domestic violence is something coming up in the news lately and for a long time. My opinion is the government will fail to address the problem due to a lack of true understanding of what it actually means and how it has an effect on individuals and an entire family. Especially the children. I repeat, especially the children. It should not be a mistake that it it considered to be men abusing women. It works both ways. Even though it might be more of an issue with men abusing or killing women, it is a two way street. Women can be very dangerous with verbal abuse and physical violence. Many times involving knives and other chosen weapons. I have witnessed this first hand multiple times in my life. Pause for a short moment and get yourself comfortable with a box of tissues and I am not happy to vent my life experience, but if it helps people understand what happens behind closed doors it might allow people to understand real fear and why victims act the way they do.
My mother came to this country back in 1968. She was pregnant and expecting a child literally 4 months after landing in this country. She was married and her husband sent her here to start a life while he settled some family issues before he was to come from Croatia to join her here in Australia. She lived in a bungalow with other Croatian, Serbian and Bosnian people new to the country. After giving birth she got a job and tried to get her life in order. Her husband never returned her mail. Never answered any communications. It became obvious to her that she would be left alone here in a new country with minimal money and not a great deal of support.
She then met my future step father by chance and they began a relationship. He offered to help her get a rental and help her find her feet. She was overwhelmed with joy. They lived in a rental for 2 years and he offered her to join him in the ownership of a house and live together as a family. Everything was great. While they would argue over small trivial things at times it was only verbal frustrations most families would experience. A few years later she was pregnant again and expecting a daughter to her new defacto partner. She gave birth to a beautiful daughter and life was about to get better. I was around 5 years of age at the time and very excited. Suddenly things started going pear shaped.
I would talk to dad (he was the only dad figure to me and we got on really well), and I asked him why he had a different last name to me and my mother. He said I was what would translate into English as a whores bastard. I was too young to understand what that was. I then asked mum what that was and she explained but insisted I tell her where I heard this term. She had suspected dad said it to me. She confronted him about it after he got home from work the following day as to why you would suggest or call your son this term. He absolutely exploded in rage and claimed I was never his son and never will be. He has a real daughter and doesn’t need me or my mother anymore. She started packing her bags. She said she will never stay in a house where she wasn’t respected or their son. He dragged her into the house by the hair up 4 or 5 steps leading to the front door. Then locked the door. I was stuck locked outside. I have never heard a woman or person scream so much in my life. I heard smashing glass. Loud banging on walls and continuous yelling. Her screaming made me wet my pants. I thought she would die. I sat in the front yard shivering with fear. Not that he would hurt or kill me. The silence in the house made me think my mum was dead. The same might have been with my sister. The door opened and he yelled at me. “Come here”. “ Help the whore clean up my house”. He looked at me from close proximity and said “ if you open your big mouth again this will be the same for you”. I walked in the house and in the kitchen my mother was sitting on the floor shivering with fear. Blood covering the floor beneath her, blood on the walls, and 3 white items on the floor that I picked up. It was her broken teeth. Mum and I cleaned the house and I shivered the whole time for at least an hour and a half. I wet my pants again. I was really scared at what this beast could do. Imagine what he could do to me? Mum was petite. Only 55kg. At my age I was lucky to weigh 25kg. How do you fight a 120kg beast of a full grown man?
A month went by and everything went back to part normal but not really normal. We had some visitors from interstate come to see us. For a long weekend. Mum cooked and cleaned and had some evidence of bruising to her eye. The visitors kept asking how this injury took place. The interrogation of questioning came to a point that mum lashed out and said ask him, pointing to my dad. He walked over to her an punched her so hard in the face that she had the biggest black eye I have ever seen. Her eye was instantly closed not even seeing a slit. The visitors got up, and packed their belongings and set off back home. Dad gave mum an myself that look. The look of you are finished. Once they left, we were both in real trouble. Mum, my sister and myself hide in the spare bedroom. Dad came back after a couple of hours. He found us. He took my sister which was his daughter to his bedroom and put her to bed. He then came into the bedroom with us with a rolling pin and we both copped a complete beating. Like you would see in the movie “Once were Warriors “.
This never ended. We would see 2 to 3 weeks for the moment to settle, but mum would open her big mouth again and we would experience a moment where she would say stop being an idiot and shut the gate otherwise the kids will run out onto the streets. Dad didn’t like someone challenge his thought process. He walked from the rear yard into the house and could see trouble starting again. Scared like anything I threatened to kill him with a butter knife in my hands. Shivering with complete fear. He picked me up and threw me through the front yard lounge window. When mum came in to protect her son, he slammed her into the wall. I ran onto the house and he was stomping on her head. I thought she was dead again. Blood everywhere. I ran like I have never run before out of the house. I had no idea where I was going. I guess it was just to get out of there. I am getting sick of the blood. The clean up. The living with fear. This went on month after month. For 22 years with mum and myself having more broken teeth and broken bones that you can’t imagine. This had to end. I had to be selfish. I had to start a new beginning. If I didn’t leave, the rest would live in a safe space. My sister was fine. She was the daughter. However the remaining family members weren’t. My memory of being hit by a hammer or a piece of steel was not something new. Hence why I thought why did we endure so much?
No real support. No family or friends to accept am knew life. A new beginning. Sure back 30 plus years ago it didn’t exist. These were once or twice a month violence activity at an extreme level. 3 or 4 times on what might be medium level. Fear of death. How many freak of death periods to the do young kids experience ever in life? Anxiety. I still don’t sleep at night without some weapon in close grasp. Why did I get exposed to this lifestyle? Why? What will the government do to help the situation? Short term money to help. Short term housing. Everything shows a typical result. Coming back home without the ability to set themselves free. That is what my mother couldn’t do. Money talks and bullcrap walks. Long term money.
I was talking to an associate about domestic violence, they spend some time volunteering in shelters so they see a lot of the effects up close.
They mentioned the current media calls for stronger penalties are completely misplaced. The problem is that the offenders are not in a stable mental space already. His fear is then that if the penalties are stronger the situation will become like the regions with death penalties in the US, in those regions offenders (insane as they may be) conclude if you are going to do the time then you may as well do the crime. In domestic violence law this could be very bad for victims.
My friend would much rather see the use of monitoring devices for repeat offenders, much like the ankle type trackers used in early release. He said it's very rare that the victims of domestic violence are victims of a first offense. Most of the bad cases turn out to be recidivists. He also said legal papers and orders do nothing, a piece of paper is of no use in defence against a knife, gun or fists of someone who is otherwise not quite right in the head!
I lived in a house of serious domestic violence for 22 years. I would love to tell people what I experienced but some might not want to hear the reality of what takes place. How it has a long term effect on children. I am happy to tell the story if people want to hear it first hand. How it was resolved after a further 25 years later.
I don't expect to win but I expect a lot of improvement in work rate, selection, and on field set up. A case of "how we play" (process) moreso than the results.
Watching Melbourne against Geelong was an almost better side than when they won the last flag. Hard to find a weak link. If our pressure is just slightly off for a short period and if we continue to bomb long expecting talls to take a mark by chance, we will be given a lesson in how to lose another match.
We lost around 6 games in a row to drop so far, and then recovering with around 9 games in a row. I can’t see any side having 9 wins from 9 games. The competition is far more even with the top 10 sides. Top 4 placing for us might get more difficult than last season. Especially if you fall 3 or 4 games behind. Voss is doing more than a reasonable job. He can’t do the work on the field. Just select the squad with some thought.
We are playing sides we need to beat to be contenders. Next two games see us slip out of the top 8 and struggle to get back in. Similar to last season. Lack of cattle with talent, or lack of composure when it is required. Our next 5 games could be a painful period coming up. Worst part is that Collingwood are not at their best yet. History never repeats. Yes it does. We can only hope we don’t have additional injuries soon. This is the bitter feeling you have when Collingwood beat you at desperate times of a game. They have done it to us before.
You can’t learn as much from a win as you can from a loss or failure. Our next run of games will test Voss and what he has to work with. Collingwood, Melbourne and Sydney. Tough run. Our best game beats the best sides doesn’t eventuate on the scoreboard if you can’t deliver a four quarter effort. I won’t be completely devastated if we drop another 2 or 3 games in our next 5 outings. It builds character and hunger. Not happy that we lost. Never expected to beat the current flag favourites. They are the benchmark. We don’t have the list they have. We don’t have the polish just yet to make the most of our forward 50 entries. Give it time.
As a supporter, I no longer fear any opposition. Our best (even with injuries) is good enough to beat anyone, especially at the G. The Cats will need to be at their best to knock us off, as will we to do the same to them.
Which is why I thought one thing in my mind. Geelong have not lost a single game yet, while we dropped one against Adelaide that are not world beaters and we did have injury problems to boot. Still no excuse when they don’t have the home ground advantage. A game we should have found a way to will ourselves over the line. Hopefully as a club we learned something from the loss. How are we favourites with betting agencies? At best a 50/50 and I still don’t have the confidence we can tame their abilities to turn the momentum their way. A win in this game will finally make me believe we might be a genuine top 4 side. I know we have beaten the Cats in the past few years without an expectation of winning. I know we have troubled them in certain aspects of the game. I just worry about our injuries. We are missing too many guns and “A” grade players. We still look a little thin on depth and expect too many to stand tall and carry the squad. I might be wrong. I hope I am. If we win this one, I will celebrate and be completely drunk. Without regret. Judge me not by my actions, but accept that I am human.
Geelong find a way to control the game and playing it on their terms when it is most needed. I hope our injuries aren’t the difference in this contest. Would be great if we could snatch a win. Geelong are the benchmark at the moment. If we had Cerra, Saad and Gov in I would have some confidence. Without them it doesn’t look likely that we will win this one.
We have to send a strong message at the selection table that passengers need to buy some new tickets.
Having a handful of guys who are just making up the numbers is unacceptable on all levels.
We have been hit hard with injuries when we can least afford to with five very hard games coming up, it is not out of the question to go from 4-0 to 4-6 in the blink of an eye.
Last year we were cruising along with a great win to loss ratio. We then hit a combination of poor form and injuries to have too many lost games in succession. Then we had to reboot mentally and drag us back up to almost top 4 positions on the ladder. Only to be so fatigued that we could not come away with a preliminary win. We really cannot afford to lose all of our next 5 games. There is a chance it could actually happen. We need Voss to teach the players how to be mentally strong. Our hamstring injuries don’t give me faith that a weeks rest is enough to bring Cerra, Gov and Saad back into action. I don’t like our chances of winning more than one game in the next 5 weeks. One at best. Not being negative but more of a case of being realistic. Doc and Silvagni injuries almost killed our season before it really began. Two versatile players that could play in any position and play with passion and heart. Giving us cover we really needed.
Not an opponent you want to encounter unless you are close to a full list. Our recent injuries could be what ends up being a poor loss against the Giants. Probably the most improved side in the last couple of seasons. I will be happy if we get away with a loss of under 4 goals.
Next game is the start of the losing streak. Thank the gods it is earlier than last season. We are not top 4 contenders just yet. We had this one in the bag and in a way, I am glad we lost this opportunity. We are not top 4 material by any measure. Close only wins by the majority of games. Eventually you lose a few close game s by the rules of Karma. Our next 4 weeks could have us win not a single game. Back into the battlers group still struggling to get into the top 8. Voss needs to do some serious talking and motivating. A bad period could have us lose our next 5. At a guess we will be lucky to get 3 wins in the next 5 games. More likely to be 2. Maybe 1. Not doom and gloom, but we had this one game in the bag against a side that struggled to play any side so far this season. We need much more work between the ears. Better game day selection of players. Less need for Walsh to carry the entire squad. He is only playing his first game this season if I am correct? We need to learn how to keep a lead on the scoreboard. We need to learn how to defend better. We still need to work on endurance and how to find speed by foot when the going gets tough. Not happy with the result at all. Glad we lost if we learn from the experience. Adelaide of all sides. Really? GWS by 5 goals next game.
We probably should consider how many times we have been screwed over with umpires decisions. Either paying or not paying a result in the past. Karma has a strange way of working the other way years later. We just need to take the wins as we get them. While Adelaide could and probably should be a win for us, we need to consider the rounds to follow. GWS, Geelong, Collingwood and Melbourne will be a true measure of where we are at. Depending on the results. Just need some composure and finish on the scoreboard to start. It won’t be easy to finish top 8 and very hard to get into the top 4. Winning close games gives me faith we can fight to the death. Before the game I expected a 3 goal win our way. Listening to the game I expected a 3 goal loss. Isn’t it funny how the result ends up in the end. The die hard minutes of the contest. Load up. Next round.
I wouldnt want Pittonet leaving.....TDK isnt designed for continuous heavy duty ruck action imho and we would be left with nothing but rookie and ruck novices. Its not that easy to get competent second stringers who can actually compete and break even with most teams No 1 rucks and while ruckman can be overrated in terms of importance when you lose your main ruckman you find life more difficult vs the better teams.
Something funny about what I have seen lately. Harry and TDK get around the ground by foot very well for their size. They also play like ruck types that do better once the ball is in play both in the air as marking targets and getting the ball at ground level, rather than purely tap out specialist ruck type players. Harry isn’t a ruck. He can play there. TDK isn’t a specialised forward but can play there. Keep these two and swap to meet match up needs. Maybe we need mobile ruck and forward types with leg speed, endurance and ability to play the ball at ground level. Most sides learn how to play to the advantage of an opponent ruck tap style and intercept the tap out. The key tap out specialist might not be the best for a club. It works well at times but clever mid field players read their predictable taps. Their bulk makes them slow at ground level. Poor with endurance and their marking skills become their only fall back skill. If Jack wasn’t on a long term injury list, Pitts would probably not get more than two or three games for this entire season. I might be wrong and won’t claim to be an expert but it looks like things are about to change. How to inject speed at every level. Players that can get the ball below their knees and generate some transition the other way. Cripps might eventually just be used as a thug. Tough body to crash through smaller guts and hurt them or something else. Big body to absorb the pressure that would target the Double Dutch or Walsh and others. I just hope we get better with silly cute disposals. Just kick to targets with percentage play. Don’t be a smart arse. Back on TDK. He has huge potential. He needs to keep working. He is far from elite. He has many things to learn. He could be anything and is starting to show some real team benefits. I just hope he doesn’t get complacent as he has so much to show and he needs to deliver. I like what I am about to see. Let me see it young fella. Work hard buddy.
Next four games - three will be against teams in the top four. If we are deserving of top two finish then next month will shape that.
Freo Adelaide GWS Geelong
No easy games in this group. Walsh back soon will help us. We need all the help we can get. Considering no Doc, and no Jack. Plus limited ruck stocks. Our pressure will be put to the test. If that holds up we could win more of these games than we expect. Bring on the mental focus Voss. Bring that on.
