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Topic: The New Joke Thread (Read 33664 times) previous topic - next topic
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Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #33 –
+1

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #34 –
The "new" joke thread hasn't seen much action ... and there are some barely remembered names; I wonder what happened to Gozza  :-\

Anyway, I'm at our local rural store buying a bag of dog food for my dogs. A woman standing behind me in the queue for the cash register asked if I had a dog. 

Why else would I be buying dog food?  ::)

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, but I was starting the Dog Food Diet again.  I said that I probably shouldn't go on it again because last time, although I'd lost 5kg, I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and all you do is load your pockets with handfuls of dry dog kibble and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.  By this stage, practically everyone in store was listening to my story.

The woman was horrified, and she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her "No, I stepped off the footpath to sniff a cocker spaniel's arse and a Toorak tractor hit me."


"Negative waves are not helpful. Try saying something righteous and hopeful instead." Oddball

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #35 –
🤣
Let’s go BIG !

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #36 –
 :D
Did you have a wet nose and a shiny coat ?
Reality always wins in the end.
 

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #37 –
 ;D