Skip to main content ↑ ↓
Topic: The New Joke Thread (Read 40819 times) previous topic - next topic
dodge and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #45 –
My career at the bicycle factory was very successful.

After just one week I was made the spokes person.

😇
"Negative waves are not helpful. Try saying something righteous and hopeful instead." Oddball

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #46 –
Why do maths books look so sad...

So many problems...
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #47 –
What’s worse than raining cats & dogs?

Hailing taxis.
"everything you know is wrong"

Paul Hewson

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #48 –
Primary school teacher asks the class "whats 1 + 1?"
Little Isaac responds "That depends Miss, are we buying or selling?"
2022- Real Deal or more of the same? 0.6%
2023- "Raise the Standard" - M. Voss Another year wasted Bar Set
2024-Back to the drawing boardNo excuses, its time
2025-Carlton can win the 2025 AFL Premiership
2026-Slow start, we can kick after all, why not?

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #49 –
I’ve become addicted to brake fluid.
My doctor’s worried but I can stop at any time.

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #50 –
Corny but here goes

Surgeon : I'm going to need to operate on that shoulder

Patient : Ok. Will I be able to play golf afterwards?

Surgeon : Yes

Patient : Good, because I can't now.

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #51 –
Little Johnny is pushing his mate on a billycart up a steep hill when he lets out an almighty array of swear words. A priest is walking passed and upon hearing the profanities he stops and says "Young man, you mustn't swear, for God is everywhere listening"
Little Johny replies "Really? Is God in that tree over there?"
Priest :"Yes Johnny"
Little Johnny: "Is God on that fence over there?"
Priest :"Yes Johnny"
Little Johnny: "Is God on my billycart?"
Priest :"Yes Johnny"
Little Johnny: "Well tell him to get off and fkn help me push then"
2022- Real Deal or more of the same? 0.6%
2023- "Raise the Standard" - M. Voss Another year wasted Bar Set
2024-Back to the drawing boardNo excuses, its time
2025-Carlton can win the 2025 AFL Premiership
2026-Slow start, we can kick after all, why not?

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #52 –
There’s nothing quite like a Little Johnny joke 😀
"Negative waves are not helpful. Try saying something righteous and hopeful instead." Oddball

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #53 –
Dr Watson: "Why did you paint the front door yellow Sherlock?"

Holmes: "A lemon entry my dear Watson!"
"Negative waves are not helpful. Try saying something righteous and hopeful instead." Oddball

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #54 –
Quote from: DJC – on
There’s nothing quite like a Little Johnny joke 😀
In Italy, they tell Pierino jokes, similar nature, young boy who is a smart ass and has all the answers just like Johnny. Only difference, they tell them in any setting and they can be quite blue. I'll never forget an Italian comedian told one in public at the very first Lygon Street Festa that was very blue and I recall all the older Italians hear pissing themselves laughing.
2022- Real Deal or more of the same? 0.6%
2023- "Raise the Standard" - M. Voss Another year wasted Bar Set
2024-Back to the drawing boardNo excuses, its time
2025-Carlton can win the 2025 AFL Premiership
2026-Slow start, we can kick after all, why not?

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #55 –
Q: Why do elephants paint their testicles red?
A: So they can hide in the Apple trees.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking Apples. ;)

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #56 –
Quote from: Gointocarlton – on
Quote from: DJC – on
There’s nothing quite like a Little Johnny joke 😀
In Italy, they tell Pierino jokes, similar nature, young boy who is a smart ass and has all the answers just like Johnny. Only difference, they tell them in any setting and they can be quite blue. I'll never forget an Italian comedian told one in public at the very first Lygon Street Festa that was very blue and I recall all the older Italians hear pissing themselves laughing.

I imagine that most countries have their little Johnny or Pierino jokes. 

There’s one about little Johnny volunteering to use “contagious” in a sentence …
"Negative waves are not helpful. Try saying something righteous and hopeful instead." Oddball

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #57 –
Quote from: DJC – on
Quote from: Gointocarlton – on
In Italy, they tell Pierino jokes, similar nature, young boy who is a smart ass and has all the answers just like Johnny. Only difference, they tell them in any setting and they can be quite blue. I'll never forget an Italian comedian told one in public at the very first Lygon Street Festa that was very blue and I recall all the older Italians hear pissing themselves laughing.

I imagine that most countries have their little Johnny or Pierino jokes. 

There’s one about little Johnny volunteering to use “contagious” in a sentence …
That one is gold
2022- Real Deal or more of the same? 0.6%
2023- "Raise the Standard" - M. Voss Another year wasted Bar Set
2024-Back to the drawing boardNo excuses, its time
2025-Carlton can win the 2025 AFL Premiership
2026-Slow start, we can kick after all, why not?
 

Re: The New Joke Thread

Reply #58 –
What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?
He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.