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Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #75 –
Quote from: Gozza – on
Do you think a good hiding here and there hurt old Gozza?  ;D

In more ways than one, GozzMan.
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #76 –
Discipline and a good hiding don't go together. There really isn't such a thing as a good hiding. A smack will get someones attention, but they still need to be taught the wrongs of their actions. That requires words and a good talk. How to get it right is all an educated guess. If parenting was to be so simple there would be endless numbers of millionaires who would have written dozens of books on the subject. I might start my book as I speak. :D
This digital world is too much for us insects to understand.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #77 –
Did anyone here ever get a belting, and sent to bed with no tea? I did.  ;D

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #78 –
Quote from: Gozza – on
Did anyone here ever get a belting, and sent to bed with no tea? I did.  ;D

Nuh. I'd get a belting then be forced to eat my vegetables. Hated veggies as a youngster... and of course was beaten if I didn't eat all the vegetables. I would throw up at times... and of course would be beaten for throwing up!

As I've mentioned before both my parents are/were intelligent people (Mum died at 51 from bowel cancer) just each came from particularly wrong upbringings. My father's upbringing was especially cruel. From a violent father to the Christian Bros in Sydney where all manner of vile thing was done to him.
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #79 –
Quote from: Gozza – on
Do you think a good hiding here and there hurt old Gozza?  ;D

Are you saying that's the reason you're an unemployed alcoholic? It is quite possible but in the end we're all responsible for our own actions. I too have realised in my own life there comes a time where you are old enough and mature enough to know what's right or wrong and it's too easy to blame the past for things we do in the present.

We're all very lucky to live in a country like Australia where if you work hard enough and want it badly enough you can make something of yourself. Some think they have it or have had it bad when in reality, we wouldn't have a forking clue what bad really is. I've seen a few real eye opening docos on some Asian and African countries and know all too well what's going on in Greece. One thing I've woken up to over the past probably 3-4 months is that it's never too late too change yourself and make the most of your life, and it's perhaps now the birth of my children that's really given me the drive to be the best person I can be moving forward.......at least for the moment anyhow. We'll see whether I actually go through with it or not. :P
Ignorance is bliss.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #80 –
Quote from: Gozza – on
Did anyone here ever get a belting, and sent to bed with no tea? I did.  ;D

No I was always fed, but the beltings came from the buckle end of the belt a broom handle or a clenched fist at times too. Its probably a reason I choose to be the exact opposite as a parent.
This digital world is too much for us insects to understand.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #81 –
Quote from: PassIt2Carrots – on
Quote from: Gozza – on
Do you think a good hiding here and there hurt old Gozza?  ;D

Are you saying that's the reason you're an unemployed alcoholic? It is quite possible but in the end we're all responsible for our own actions. I too have realised in my own life there comes a time where you are old enough and mature enough to know what's right or wrong and it's too easy to blame the past for things we do in the present.

We're all very lucky to live in a country like Australia where if you work hard enough and want it badly enough you can make something of yourself. Some think they have it or have had it bad when in reality, we wouldn't have a forking clue what bad really is. I've seen a few real eye opening docos on some Asian and African countries and know all too well what's going on in Greece. One thing I've woken up to over the past probably 3-4 months is that it's never too late too change yourself and make the most of your life, and it's perhaps now the birth of my children that's really given me the drive to be the best person I can be moving forward.......at least for the moment anyhow. We'll see whether I actually go through with it or not. :P

The human condition is vast and varied. The office of presumption is limitless yet almost entirely hollow.

You live your life well Carrots and for this you deserve praise. Your life however is not a tool of measurement for those whom surround you as there are just far to many variables that alter the fate of their existence. Comparisons to other cultures whilst engaging don't necessarily apply in many circumstances.

The one truth that I can say crosses all cultures, race and religion is to "do unto others as they would do to you."
IN WADA WE TRUST

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #82 –
Quote from: Juddkreuzer – on
Quote from: PassIt2Carrots – on
Quote from: Gozza – on
Do you think a good hiding here and there hurt old Gozza?  ;D

Are you saying that's the reason you're an unemployed alcoholic? It is quite possible but in the end we're all responsible for our own actions. I too have realised in my own life there comes a time where you are old enough and mature enough to know what's right or wrong and it's too easy to blame the past for things we do in the present.

We're all very lucky to live in a country like Australia where if you work hard enough and want it badly enough you can make something of yourself. Some think they have it or have had it bad when in reality, we wouldn't have a forking clue what bad really is. I've seen a few real eye opening docos on some Asian and African countries and know all too well what's going on in Greece. One thing I've woken up to over the past probably 3-4 months is that it's never too late too change yourself and make the most of your life, and it's perhaps now the birth of my children that's really given me the drive to be the best person I can be moving forward.......at least for the moment anyhow. We'll see whether I actually go through with it or not. :P

The human condition is vast and varied. The office of presumption is limitless yet almost entirely hollow.

You live your life well Carrots and for this you deserve praise. Your life however is not a tool of measurement for those whom surround you as there are just far to many variables that alter the fate of their existence. Comparisons to other cultures whilst engaging don't necessarily apply in many circumstances.

The one truth that I can say crosses all cultures, race and religion is to "do unto others as they would do to you."

Exactamondo. Really well put JK.

Attempting to summarise the GozzMan based on what we know from his posts is unfair and terribly limiting. We can understand some things but not the whole picture. I actually interpreted (rightly or wrongly) the GozzMan's questions as sincere... he may have grown up in a violent family and not know that this is not the norm. Maybe not. He might drink too much to numb lots of emotional pain. Maybe not. He may be unemployed due to a mental illness or is a full-time carer for a relative. Maybe not. But until I know the full story I think I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt.
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #83 –
See Gozza promotes himself as something on here, that's his choice how he wishes us to perceive him. I'm only going by that.

@JK

I am far from perfect mate, that's the point I'm trying to get across. I can relate to Gozza with regards to upbringing and how it may have affected my choices in life but I have now come to terms with the fact that I'm now at the age where I'm responsible for the choices I make and there's no use looking to the past for excuses. I'm ready to go through with it without a doubt but whether I'm able to or not is another thing altogether and the challenge I now face in life. Am I mentally strong enough to go through with it? Time will tell. I guess that's what I'm trying to say to gozza, you can change without a doubt but you have to want to change first, then you need to go through with it. I have box 1 ticked so far.
Ignorance is bliss.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #84 –
I see what you are trying to say Carrots, and I agree.
Mens sana in corpore sano - A healthy mind in a healthy body.

Navy, it's not just a color, it's an attitude !!!

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #85 –
Last time I was speaking to someone who claimed expert knowledge in this area, she stated that we are determined as a person about 60% by our own genetics , hard wiring if you like, and about 40% by our environment which obviously incorporates upbringing.

Soo, a particular type of upbringing e.g. one that includes spankings, beatings, be-ratings etc. etc. will affect some people very differently to how it would others. Some would be deeply affected in a negative way, others would get through, cope and put it behing them.

Much better off leaving out the corporal punishment altogether IMO.
Reality always wins in the end.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #86 –
Well to be quite honest with you, it wasn't just me who'd cop a good hiding...all the blokes I used to knock around with growing up did too. 
 
Could it be an environmental factor of where you live? Do those from affluent suburbs not grow up with such 'disciplinary' measures because their parents are more relaxed...maybe through less financial strain as opposed to those from real blue collar, industrial, working class areas where financial strain may have cancerous repercussions? 
 
 

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #87 –
Quote from: Gozza – on
Well to be quite honest with you, it wasn't just me who'd cop a good hiding...all the blokes I used to knock around with growing up did too. 
 
Could it be an environmental factor of where you live? Do those from affluent suburbs not grow up with such 'disciplinary' measures because their parents are more relaxed...maybe through less financial strain as opposed to those from real blue collar, industrial, working class areas where financial strain may have cancerous repercussions? 
 
 

I'd say alcohol consumption and the culture that goes with it would be a far greater contributing factor in domestic violence than where one may live or how much money they may make.
Ignorance is bliss.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #88 –
Quote from: PassIt2Carrots – on
Quote from: Gozza – on
Well to be quite honest with you, it wasn't just me who'd cop a good hiding...all the blokes I used to knock around with growing up did too. 
 
Could it be an environmental factor of where you live? Do those from affluent suburbs not grow up with such 'disciplinary' measures because their parents are more relaxed...maybe through less financial strain as opposed to those from real blue collar, industrial, working class areas where financial strain may have cancerous repercussions? 
 
 

I'd say alcohol consumption and the culture that goes with it would be a far greater contributing factor in domestic violence than where one may live or how much money they may make.

Alcohol I'm sure would be a major contributor to domestic violence and there's plenty of evidence to support that in this country alone.

I grew up in a small coal-mining community where heavy drinking was virtually everybody's major hobby and fisticuffs was the way to settle most disputes. A pretty brutal place to grow up, more psychologically than physically I guess. I still have problems dealing with people I feel are "soft" and I'd say a certain insensitivity would be a flaw I'd admit to. I knew though that I had to get out of there and I can honestly say it was the best favour I did for myself at a young age. Took a while to shake off some off the baggage though - first step is to become aware of what exactly it is you're carrying - you need good friends to tell you that. Anyway - enough said!
Reality always wins in the end.

Re: Parenting & Discipline

Reply #89 –
Quote from: cookie2 – on
Quote from: PassIt2Carrots – on
Quote from: Gozza – on
Well to be quite honest with you, it wasn't just me who'd cop a good hiding...all the blokes I used to knock around with growing up did too. 
 
Could it be an environmental factor of where you live? Do those from affluent suburbs not grow up with such 'disciplinary' measures because their parents are more relaxed...maybe through less financial strain as opposed to those from real blue collar, industrial, working class areas where financial strain may have cancerous repercussions? 
 
 

I'd say alcohol consumption and the culture that goes with it would be a far greater contributing factor in domestic violence than where one may live or how much money they may make.

Alcohol I'm sure would be a major contributor to domestic violence and there's plenty of evidence to support that in this country alone.

I grew up in a small coal-mining community where heavy drinking was virtually everybody's major hobby and fisticuffs was the way to settle most disputes. A pretty brutal place to grow up, more psychologically than physically I guess. I still have problems dealing with people I feel are "soft" and I'd say a certain insensitivity would be a flaw I'd admit to. I knew though that I had to get out of there and I can honestly say it was the best favour I did for myself at a young age. Took a while to shake off some off the baggage though - first step is to become aware of what exactly it is you're carrying - you need good friends to tell you that. Anyway - enough said!

Incredibly impressed, Biscuit 2. Wow, Mate that is really insightful IMHO.

Becoming 'aware' (of your baggage) and admitting to yourself an 'insensitivity' (toward the imperfections of others) puts you in the 'psychologically courageous' group. No greater courage than to admit publicly your short-coming(s). Quality post, Biscuit 2... serious quality. :)
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17