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Topic: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water! (Read 5698 times) previous topic - next topic
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Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

If you like to snort the odd bit of cocaine, avoid the ocean.

In Brazil authorities have found traces of cocaine in several sharks, speculation is rife about how the monsters of the deep got the stuff in their system, but authorities are worried that the drug could have similar effects on Mr Bitey as it does people.

One researcher was heard to comment,
"The hint of cocaine in the water might be the shark equivalent of a curry to a pisshead!"
or something along those lines!

I'm pegging you're going to see a change of background scenery in the social media posts of many influencers!

Surely this research gets a nomination for the Ig Noble Awards.

"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #1 –
I guess we can add marine life, along with "fake" trans people, to the ever growing list of those deemed unworthy of precious research dollars.

One also has to wonder whether the reporting of matters deemed trivial in itself trivial, although there's a fairly obvious subtext here, which is that woke madness has infested the sciences, and no institution is safe.

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #2 –
I suspect it will be drug enforcement agencies that are interested in this one.

I can see the DARPA funding now, open for proposals to investigate the training of drug detection sharks.

Perhaps if the research dollars aren't wasted on whales posing as sharks then scientists will be able to help solve this mystery! ;)
"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #3 –
Dear God ! Don't tell me they squandered millions of dollars of precious research money only to discover cross dressing whales ! They're on a slippery slope now, all the way down, down, down from cross dressing to FAKE TRANS.

Oh well, no matter. Those tranny whales wouldn't know much about blow. Puberty blockers maybe......

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #4 –
Clever stuff, you two!

'Tranny whales not knowing much about blow' - classic! 'Puberty blockers...' now that's top shelf wit.

Drug enforcement interest in whales now? Free mammal injecting rooms? Wasn't DARPA behind Agent Orange?
Only our ruthless best, from Board to bootstudders will get us no. 17

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #5 –
Thanks Baggers.

If I could add a couple more things :

These types of exchanges tend to have a fairly short half-life, a line of decay if you will, where you cross from arguing about something to arguing just or the sake of arguing. I think we crossed that line a while ago, and at least IMO, it's time to pack it in.

Pat, I can tell you in all honesty, I enjoy the great majority of what you post. I apologize if I said anything out of order.

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #6 –
Quote from: PaulP – on
Pat, I can tell you in all honesty, I enjoy the great majority of what you post. I apologize if I said anything out of order.
Better to get it out here than on those around you, I'm not sure anything on the internet can offend me, real life however, gets me every time!

Keep an eye out for the 2024 Ig Nobels, 12th Sept, this might surely feature.
https://improbable.com/ig/archive/2024-ceremony/

Anyway @PaulP, there are much bigger fish to fry, the billionaires are circling wagons around Trump, it looks like Harris has them a bit shaken.
"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #7 –
Cocaine shark vs. cocaine bear?
DrE is no more... you ok with that harmonica man?

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #8 –
Quote from: Professer E – on
Cocaine shark vs. cocaine bear?
Australia is missing out here, I pegging we'll have Cocaine Croc before the year ticks over!

You know this all goes bad for boaties the moment Cocaine Orca hits the waves, Euro types are already suffering spurious attacks.
"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #9 –
Quote from: LP – on
Australia is missing out here, I pegging we'll have Cocaine Croc before the year ticks over!

You know this all goes bad for boaties the moment Cocaine Orca hits the waves, Euro types are already suffering spurious attacks.

I was thinking about Killer Whales on coke 🫨

Apart from animals in captivity having a go at their “trainers”, there’s no record of Killer Whales attacking humans.  Adding cocaine to the mix might change that.

There are ten or more distinctive populations that have different behaviours, food preferences and appearances.  Work is progressing to determine whether they are different species and possibly different genera, hence my use of “Killer Whales” instead of “Orca”.

My fascination with Killer Whales began when I read the book “Killers of Eden”, holidayed at Twofold Bay and visited the Killer Whale Museum (many times).  There’s a more recent, scholarly book called “Killers in Eden” that makes a good job of explaining the behaviours of that particular pod of Killer Whales and the history of shore-based whaling at Twofold Bay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVmieqjU0E8

Have I successfully hacked LP’s post? 🙂

It's still the Gulf of Mexico, Don Old!

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #10 –
If the Great Whites were already scared.
2012 HAPPENED!!!!!!!

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #11 –
Quote from: DJC – on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVmieqjU0E8

Have I successfully hacked LP’s post? 🙂
Great video, I've snorkelled with both sharks, tiger, white and black tip among others, and whale sharks in SE Asia.

But one point, there is a pod of Killer Whales / Orcas attacking small vessels in European waters, I was referring to reports of incidents between Norway and Spain. At this stage the allegation is claimed to be restricted to a single pod lead by a specific matriarch, not confirmed, but they obviously do learn and communicate these behaviours. I suspect it's most likely the whales are pissed off with human selfie hunters and have had enough. Makes me think of those morons that use jet skis and other small runabouts to chase dolphin pods. Like pretty much every location on the planet, the animals were there first!

https://www.livescience.com/animals/orcas/orcas-have-attacked-and-sunk-another-boat-in-europe-and-experts-warn-there-could-be-more-attacks-soon#:~:text=A%20group%20of%20orcas%20known,in%20the%20last%20three%20years.
"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #12 –
Quote from: LP – on
Great video, I've snorkelled with both sharks, tiger, white and black tip among others, and whale sharks in SE Asia.

But one point, there is a pod of Killer Whales / Orcas attacking small vessels in European waters, I was referring to reports of incidents between Norway and Spain. At this stage the allegation is claimed to be restricted to a single pod lead by a specific matriarch, not confirmed, but they obviously do learn and communicate these behaviours. I suspect it's most likely the whales are pissed off with human selfie hunters and have had enough. Makes me think of those morons that use jet skis and other small runabouts to chase dolphin pods. Like pretty much every location on the planet, the animals were there first!

https://www.livescience.com/animals/orcas/orcas-have-attacked-and-sunk-another-boat-in-europe-and-experts-warn-there-could-be-more-attacks-soon#:~:text=A%20group%20of%20orcas%20known,in%20the%20last%20three%20years.

I've snorkeled with fur seals off the Skerries (a very foolhardy venture), Galapagos Sharks (off Lord Howe Island) and Whale Sharks off Ningaloo.  There were Killer Whales at Ningaloo at the time and the guides on our boat had swum with them a day or two before our cruise.

The Killer Whales aren't attempting to sink or damage the boats off Gibraltar.  It seems that one became annoyed with a pleasure craft - possibly because of the noise it was making - and had a crack at the rudder.  This turned out to be quite entertaining/enjoyable and the others in the pod copied her example.  Let's just hope that they don't accidently sink a yacht with a cargo of cocaine  :)
It's still the Gulf of Mexico, Don Old!

Re: Monkey on your back, stay out of the water!

Reply #13 –
Quote from: DJC – on
Let's just hope that they don't accidently sink a yacht with a cargo of cocaine  :)
Ones suspects whales and other marine life have already encountered cocaine bonded (maybe de-bonded) to ship hulls, given it's currently one of the preferred ways to smuggle moderate quantities.

I have associates who struggle to get solid copper let alone a piece of feeble plastic to stick to a ship hull, the hydraulic forces can be enormous. For example the velocity of water inside a typical fire hose is about 20kph, and ships typically travel at 30 to 40 kph.
( Some might confuse the internal hose velocity with the exit velocity, the exit velocity is 3 or 4 times higher due to the function of the de laval nozzle. )
"Extremists on either side will always meet in the Middle!"